The Last Tear
by PunkKity
Summary: This is a one shot based off the song The Last Tear by Trapt. It shows a bit of how I think Eli was feeling and coping with everything that's happened to him.


**The Last Tear – Trapt**

**A.N. I really like this song, and think that it would make a good Fic. I would suggest listening to the song as you read it, it makes it better. This is a one-shot.**

**I do NOT own Degrassi or the Lyrics to this song.**

**The Last Tear**

_Sharp pain when you breathe in deep  
no one to catch your insecurities  
you cling to the sadness in your dreams  
being happy is something you don't need_

**I took a deep breath as I looked around my room, it was a mess but I...with Clare's help was starting to make a dent in it. I'm seeing a therapist two times a week; I now know why I have these feelings for things. But it doesn't make it better, doesn't change how things went and are. Clare and I are fine she makes me feel like I can be okay and I help her accept how things are going with her parents. Were stronger together than we are apart...we both know this and accept it. Is it love? Maybe not yet, but someday.**

_You know how to play that game  
even though you're the only one who plays  
so attached to the feelings that you fake  
your weakness is your only strength_

**In the past nothing mattered, I was playing a game with myself and the people around me. I faked how I really felt by putting on a mask, hiding from the world behind shaggy bangs and a wicked smirk. I don`t deserve to be happy but the others around me needed to be happy it was something I needed to make sure happened with everything in me, even if that meant being killed to protect them. It go to the point where my faking my feelings started to become the only thing that mattered to me, if I seemed fine to those around me then my feelings couldn`t be used against me. My weakness combined together with my strengths became my downfall. **

_[bridge]__  
Your so emotional yet  
I don't think you feel anything  
so conversational everytime  
you start to scream_

_[chorus]_  
_Dark circles right around your eyes your drama turns into sigh, you always swear this is the  
last tear you'll never cry, you traded honesty for lies you faked it all your life, you always  
swear this is the last tear you'll never cry_

**When Julia died my world felt like it ended my reason for living gone on a rainy day with screeching tired and crushed metal. Gone because of a stupid fight I had started things weren`t all sunshine and roses with her and me but we loved each other. And then it was gone...just like that. The life we had together was too much for me to take by myself so I switched schools. I headed to Degrassi Community School a place I heard about but had never wanted to be there.**

_Are you bored with the life you chose  
you pushed them all away you know  
you never aloud yourself to grow  
are you angry at me now that you are exposed_

**Everything changed the day I ran over glasses. When I stepped out of my hearse and picked them up to return them I was lost in the most beautiful blue eyes I had ever seen. I tripped over my tongue and said something stupid like. "I think their dead." As I handed them to her, the smile she gave me and the pink blush that spread across her face made my day, I barely remember her saying something about laser eye surgery. **

**From that day on I was I was bored with how I had chosen to live my life now, alone without my friends from my old school, who had given up on me. It was time to allow myself to grow...but could I?**

_Your story was always based on fiction  
so many layers of contradictions  
only your fear has driven your decisions  
has pain become your own addiction_

**The more time I spent with Clare the more I tried to be a better person, I wanted to be with her but there were still so many secrets between me and her, she doesn't know my biggest secret, she doesn't realize that my fear feeds a darkness in my soul that even I can't seem to contain anymore, but then she's there with me by my side and everything is a little brighter everything feels a little better and I begin to breathe again. She's become my addiction, one that I find more intoxicating than all the things I hide in my room and all the pain I hide behind my smirks.**

_You always swear this is the last tear you'll never cry_

**I know things won't always be easy but together we can get through anything, I'm sure of it. After all we've made it through a bully, a fake stabbing, a crisis in faith, the news her parents where separating, her finding out I was a hoarder, their divorce and my therapy. We're here for each other and that's all I need. More tears will be shed but we'll have each other to wipe them away.**

**A.N. ** Okay so there it is, I tried to follow the song and such but it came out a little different than I intended. I actually like it.

Tell me what you think, should I do more song fics? Stick to my story what?

Anyway thanks for reading!

Love you all.

P. Kitty


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